Is the word 'actually' driving you crazy?

I say it; family members say it; friends say it; newscasters and weather casters say it.  It's the word 'actually.'  And it appears to be ubiquitous.  My husband Wayne and I have recently started making fun of each other when we catch each other using 'actually.'

Now, I am the last person to criticize or complain about current language use or take a language-is-going-to-hell-in-a-hand basket stance.  But when I realized I was hearing 'actually' multiple times a day coming out of my own mouth as well as that of others, I became intrigued with investigating what exact meaning we were trying to convey ( if any).

Doing a quick Google search, I discovered that criticizing the frequent use of  'actually' turns out to be fairly common. One writer delved into psychology by suggesting that the term often comes out as an indication of passive aggressive behavior, a secret criticism that is saying, "You are wrong, I am right, and you are at least a little bit of an idiot."  Actually, the Worst Word on the Planet is 'Actually' The writer continues to condemn 'actually' as being unnecessary and a waste of space and recommends the use of 'really' or 'truly' instead.

Another writer warns listeners to be on the lookout for the word 'actually' because it may signal deception on the part of the speaker.  "Never say it again, if you can help it," is this writer's

advice. 1 Word that Immediately Kills Your Credibility

Still another writer takes a more practical viewpoint by coaching Portuguese speakers in the use of  'actually'  because of its frequent usage by native English speakers.

Web site for this title

This article identifies four different functions for 'actually':  thinking again, saying 'in fact,' expressing surprise, and softening a blow.  Giving a speaker the chance to rethink or correct a statement is identified as the most useful skill for Portuguese speakers learning English.  If  you say something that you don't mean and want to take it back, or if you say something in error and change your mind about it, 'actually' placed at the beginning of the sentence will do the trick.

Speaker No. 1

"Do you want to go to the beach at noon?"

Speaker No. 2

"Yes.  Actually, no. It's too hot then.

The author considers 'actually' to be discourse marker, an expression that functions more for holding a conversation together rather than for providing much additional meaning.

My personal opinion is that we overuse 'actually' because it appears that everyone around us is using it.  Most of us want to fit in and sound like others, if only to communicate more effectively with them.

Still, overusing 'actually' has become for me an embarrassing habit that I am going to try to remedy in the next several months.  Maybe a rubber band on the wrist that I snap every time I hear myself use the word?  Or a dollar in the kitty?  I hope dropping the 'actually' habit is easier than losing those elusive extra ten pounds.